The Gender and Toys Fence

Here it is, another Black Friday has come and gone and now we are full swing into holiday shopping madness.  And of course, there is the toy shopping for the kids in my life.  Here is one time I know for sure which side of the fence I am on.  I am on the side of the fence that wishes that toys were more equal, or that girls could be seen as just as capable as boys.  As I look through ads and troll websites for the perfect play toys for my daughter, I notice that the toys for her brothers are so much - well, smarter!  I mean if I were to just look at toys I would think that all little girls are capable of is dressing up, playing with hair and make-up and cooking!  Is that really the message we want our daughters believing?  Oh, yes I'm sorry, they came up with Legos for girls - frilly things, pink and purply with little girl lego people.  But here's where I have issue - there is almost nothing to actually build!  My daughter put a few pieces together for a pool and then had a ton of accessories to put around said pool.  She said to me - mommy where are the legos to build like big brother?  She at 5, was asking the very same question I wondered.  Do girls really not want to build, or is it that society is telling them, don't build it, just decorate it!
I remember walking the aisles at the local toy store in search of a birthday gift for her.  Aisles and aisles of dolls, dress up stuff (including make-up), and cooking paraphernalia.  So if she wants to play, she can dress-up, cook, clean or decorate.  So I came home to find this little gem online- it's called Goldieblox and it is a genius idea!  An engineer has combined a girls love of reading, pink and engineering! I'm hoping that we skip the Barbie phase in this house and that more toys like Goldiblox make it to shelves!

What Fence You Ask?

I suppose I do straddle quite a few fences.  But the one that sneaks up on me every day is the fence that separates the stay at home moms and the working moms.  I am neither, but I am both at the same time!  So much debate goes into which is better for the child, which is better for the mom, better for the family and which is better according to society?  I wonder, what difference does it really all make?  Aren't we one and the same? I mean last time I checked, we were all Moms - aiming towards the same goal - to raise good kids.  Now defining 'good' kids is a whole other post LOL.

I did one and then the other, and now....well I do both!  It seems that the one thing I noticed is that whichever side of the fence you end up on, you still have to mow the grass.  On neither side of said fence is the grass really any greener!  We all take peeks onto the other side of the fence, some of us stare longingly at the other side wishing we were on it because we've been there before, others wonder what it's even like on the other side, yet still others are perfectly content right where they are.

So, I heard they held a day last year called Non-Judgement Day.  A day when we, as moms, are supposed to not judge other moms.  Really?  Are we really so bad that we need a special day to be nice to each other, to respect one another, to be grateful for each other?  

I am grateful to all kinds of moms.  I mean they all rally together to make sure our kids will grow up to be amazing!  The working mom Doctor who sees my kids when they are sick, the stay at home mom who helps pick my kid up when I am running late, the work at home mom who is trying to find a way for mommies to keep up with their own personal goals - I am thankful for them all. Judge, no way!  They are the glue that keeps me sane.  The ones that I know I can count on for anything and everything.  Who am I to judge what they choose to do or not do?  Besides, things would get pretty boring if we were all the same, right?

So, me, the straddler, I straddle this fence, working from home as a career coach and staying at home and making homemade playdough.  At times things get a bit jumbled, like when I am figuring out how to best summarize a CEO's career and suddenly I have a kid who wants to hug me because Barney is singing 'I love you, you love me...', but I wouldn't change it for the world.  So, this is me, like me or leave me.